User blog:Reignic4/Ke$ha vs Mia Khalifa
Blue Curtain Battles of History It's been four years ''since the last installment of this shitty web-series on this shitty fanbase called the ''Epic Rap Battles of History Wikia. ''Four fucking years. An entire generation of snot-nosed, pizza-faced kids have been able to completely finish high school (or drop out in disgrace) since the last time I've written a god forsaken rap battle. Please fucking end me, why am I even doing this? For those of you don't remember me (rememeber remember the reignic of terror), my name is Reignic. I hate rap with a passion but am good when it comes to history. I am sexually attracted to eyebrows, so I feel obligated to publish this great piece of ass work that is the rap battle between pop sensation and mid-00s white girl rapper (or dirty hippie, I'm still not quite too sure) Ke$ha and sports commentator and eyebrow aficionado Mia Khalifa. '''This battle is SFW, I promise.' Special thanks to ROA and CW for helping with this battle. KE$HA VS MIA KHALIFA Begin! Ke$ha: Hot and dangerous, you really want beef between us? Your sports commentary really sucks, so superfluous. Don’t want to be known as a Pornstar, that’s so bizarre, such a really high bar, for a young girl with more mileage than my sports car! Lookin’ at the videos, you’re really not happy Bendin’ over backwards for some big, black D! Took dick for a living, now on Twitter you’re smug, When it’s clear that love is not your drug! The stage lights go on and I get to show off, The cameras start rolling and you get to Take it Off! Bars like the plots in your ‘movies’, blah blah blah. I’ll beat you so fast, you won’t know what even hit yah! Mia Khalifa: I did pornography for three months of one full year, But sexual abuse and assault is your whole career! Take a look at your song titles, I’m surprised you’re not a fluke. You couldn’t do a single song without Blow-''ing Dr. Luke! How you gonna say I live for dick – your tattoo says “suck it”, Aesthetic lying somewhere between a slut and a muppet. Your trashy-ass pop singles got you sounding like a whore. Your popularity ''Died Young, a pop culture Dinosaur. And I got around to Rainbow – ''God, what a chore! Heard better music while I was fuckin’ on the floor! Not safe for work, but this battle’s still child’s play, Music so bad, you’re worse than iLOVEFRiDAY. '''Ke$ha:' Hit or miss, I guess your disses miss, huh? You had a husband, but fucking made him ditch ya! I’m the true Tik Tok Sensation, while you’re known across the nation, Coochie like an infestation, crotch filled with crustacean! Jeffe called, he got you a spot on the next Sports casting couch, First time trying anal the scene halted and you shouted “ouch!” Sexual rebellion, man you’ve got that girl power – Wore a hijab in a threesome, girl you rode those Twin Towers! Mia Khalifa: Is that all you got, you frump from Fraggle Rock? Tik Tok on the clock,go ahead and suck my cock! Got a dollar in your name, but you’re lookin’ kind of dense, You should lay off all that liquor, but that’s just my two cents! Your career is as deflated as my tit at that hockey game, My pussy’s got more clicks than your songs – bitch, that’s what we call fame! You say I’m known for fucking, yet here you are you cunt! Your raps are like my pussy – it be looking like a battlefront! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE. Who won? Mia Khalifa Ke$ha Category:Blog posts